I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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