Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
