96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
