how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
where am i from again
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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