when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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