you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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