Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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