I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
