don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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