it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
