Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
