halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
