do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
