Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
