I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
