i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
