I cut my penus on the lid.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
