Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
