My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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