Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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