After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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