i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
