Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
