I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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