It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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