i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize