This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
