conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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