Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
