I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
