Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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