After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
