i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize