it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize