Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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