some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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