Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
That accounts for only three of the penises
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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