there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
True strength comes from lack of pants
The cops high fived after they tackled you
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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