Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
