dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize