I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
