Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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