Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
