This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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