I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
