how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
