i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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