Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
