apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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