I heard we made out
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
