This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
