I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
