Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
