I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
