I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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