Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
