TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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