you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
