I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
