uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
