what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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